By chicky-the-dragon.deviantart.com

Hetalia – Supercars and Heroes

DISCLAIMER: This is an alternate universe FanFiction. This story is pure fantasy and in no way reflects any realism with the actions of government agencies, Mafia, rebels, vigilantes or gangs. No offence is intended.

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A black, well-polished supercar tears down the streets of Germany, breaking every traffic rule in the country. Said supercar has black-tinted windows and cuts through the air like a jet plane on tarmac!

It screeches around a sharp corner, barely missing some parked cars but the driver promptly controls the vehicle back on track without hesitation.

The driver is a short Italian man wearing shades and a black suit. His chin-length brown hair whips back from the sheer acceleration of the car with one stray curl bouncing as he travels over potholes.

A voice crackles in his earpiece.

"LOVI~!"

The Italian cringes at the cheerfulness of the Spaniard at the other end of the line. He yells; "Bastardo! You want me to crash?!"

The Spaniard chuckles. "Sorry. We just received a distress call from CIA Agent Jones. General Beilschmidt wants to assign you to rescue him and two of our European agents in your vicinity."

Lovino Vargas grits his teeth and jams his foot on the brakes, skidding expertly into an open parking spot on the streets. He is fuming!

"WHAT? Why couldn't the Potato Bastard tell me himself?"

"Because you won't listen to him, Lovino?"

"Damn right I won't listen to him! Not when fratello is hanging off his arm like some... some chick or something!"

"Ah but, Lovino, they are very nice..."

"Shut up, Tomato Bastard!" Lovino glances out of the window and huffs. "So the American needs help?"

Antonio Fernández Carriedo, the Spanish daydreamer and long-time companion of "his little Lovi", sighs over the earpiece. "Sí. The American called Base – he seems to have had an encounter with STRIKENSUNG."

Lovino tenses at the name. "That careless jerk..."

"Apparently MI6 Agent Kirkland and DGSE Agent Bonnefoy were caught in the ambush."

"That English asshole and the Pervert? Fuck that!"

"Lovi, you're the only one who can help them! Plus Francis is mi amigo. Please help them!"

The Italian revs up his engine and glares at the windscreen. "Alright, Carriedo, gimme directions. After all, that's your job, jerk."

The Spaniard spouts out a fountain of thanks, much to his friend's chargrin, before talking business. "Okay, I've transmitted the route to your navigation system. Get to the destination as quickly as possible! Hopefully we can prevent a kidnapping."

Lovino floors it and follows the directions on his GPS system, wasting no time. "I've better not be on this rescue mission ALONE."

Antonio is quick to reassure him. "No, no, no! Your orders are to get to the location where Jones, Kirkland and Bonnefoy were spotted. Ninja Master Kiku Honda is on his way too!"

Lovino veers to the left and is about three streets away from his endangered colleagues. "What's his ETA, bastard?"

"According to my tracker – Minutes."

"Bene!" The Italian barrels down another road, eyebrows narrowed in determination. "I maybe the best the Mafia has to offer but I'm not suicidal, dammit!"

Lovino winces as his friend coos to him via the communication system.

"¡Mi amor! Be careful, okay? I can't have my little Tomate injured or killed!"

"Sh-shut up!" He is close to the location now. "I'll be fine, idiot!" Like hell he was going to admit that he's scared!

He parks outside of the alleyway and grabs an uzi off the passenger seat, leaping out of the door. He is greeted by a slim Japanese man with short, black hair.

The Master frantically motions the Mafia relation to stop.

"Kiku?"

"Lovino-san! Just in time!"

"I am?"

"Agent Jones is safe but we have to leave immediately. Tail my motorbike, we can still save Agents Kirkland and Bonnefoy!"

"Chigi! Andiamo!" he cries, rushing back into the car.

Before he can shut the door, the tall, blond Agent Jones invites himself into the passenger seat.

Lovino flinches at his unexpected guest and scowls. "What the crapola?!"

Giving the Mafia member his trademark grin, Alfred waves to his colleague despite sitting mere inches away. "Awesome ride, bro! You get a SUPERCAR? That is awesome--"

As Alfred F. Jones rambles on and on, Lovino's blood pressure rises. He eventually snaps and punches the American in the jaw.

"Owwwww!" Alfred whines, sounding more like a child than someone reaching twenty-years-old.

"Silenzio! Shut your fucking mouth, all right! We have those other bastards to save."

Lovino steps on the accelerator and Alfred is forced to scramble for his seatbelt.

"Whoa, dude! This car has so much POWER! I have to convince my superiors to let The Hero cruise in a supercar. Coz a Hero needs something with 'super' in it. You're officially my new BFF now, bro!"

The Italian gives him a death glare but focuses on tailing Kiku's motorbike. "We AREN'T friends!"

"Sure we are! We're all bros in this business. Savin' the world – so you're all my homies!"

Lovino grumbles. "You sound like the Tomato Bastard."

The Spaniard's voice crackles through the earpiece on cue. "You called, Lovi?"

"I didn't want to talk to you, jerk!" he yells loudly, causing the CIA agent to cringe.

"Oh don't be like that, amigo!"

"Fuck off!"

"Anyway, I wanted to let you know some important information..."

The Italian sighs. "Fine. What the hell is it?"

Alfred watches the one-way conversation with interest as Lovino skids them around another corner.

Antonio continues talking animatedly through the electronic device. "Our technical specialist Yao Wang hacked into the CCTV of the alleyway our agents took refuge in. The attackers are NOT STRIKENSUNG operatives..."

"What?!" Lovino yells in outrage. "Then who the hell are they?!"

"We're not sure but Wang is working on profiling them as we speak."

"So do they know anything about our organisation?"

"Nope... Well, ah, I mean, I don't know, Lovi. They could still be dangerous..."

Alfred, who is becoming very impatient at the lack of attention, bounces up and down on his seat and demands audience. "Yo, Vargas! What's goin' on?"

The Italian scoffs and glowers at the American. "We're not following STRIKENSUNG apparently. Your friends were kidnapped by an unknown gang," he explains shortly.

"No way! That's so lame!" he complains unhappily.

Suddenly, another voice transmits through both Alfred and Lovino's earpieces:

"Agent Jones and Don Vargas, can you read me?"

They both recognise Kiku's voice.

"Go ahead, Kiku!" Alfred replies confidently.

"Andiamo, Master Kiku," Lovino acknowledges him.

"Ah, good. I have a strategy..."

Alfred leaps in joy. "Yahoo!"

"...Lovino-san, I want you to drive alongside our target on the left-hand side, I'll move-in from the right. The plan is to kill the driver, take the other assailants captive from the car and rescue Agents Kirkland and Bonnefoy in the process. Is that objective clear?"

"Sí!"

"Yessir!"

"Okay, let's end this now!"

In perfect synchronisation, Lovino and Kiku move their vehicles alongside their target car, prepared to lure it off-road...